Just A Simple Cappucino Man

I’ve been going to a Gloria Jeans coffee house over the last week or two for the free internet and I think it’s damaging my piece of mind.

Amongst my encounters, I’ve been sitting next to couple of schoolgirls and a boy, who flicked through magazines exclaiming the likes of “She’s hot”, “She’s hot”, “She’s so hot”, and “Which one’s the hottest?” That’s about as much as I remember them saying over my earphones, though I do recall the little bitches being pretty hot themselves.

Then tonight, some young yuppie guy who was talking on Skype referred to me as he was talking to some girl. Reacting to something she said, he jokingly replied “Yeah there’s a guy across from me who’d really like to hear you sing.” And it wasn’t a casual comment either. When I sat down first he offered to plug in my power cable because the socket was slightly on his side of the table. Then when it was plugged in asked me if it was ok, which it obviously was, and I could sense enough attention from him that I could start a conversation if I wanted. Then after a while I reacted out loud to something on facebook, exclaiming “Jesus” through my breath (I don’t normally do that, I was just very surprised). Only for the little shit to do the same thing a few minutes later, making some abrupt reaction out loud. It’s nice when women do that kind of stuff, but not yuppie little guys in coffee houses, fuck that.

And there have been numerous couples, next to me or beside me, having their coffee shakes or whatever, with their little personal jokes, and kisses and giggles, creating amusement out of complete mundanity. Like kids I guess.

These coffee houses, Starbucks, Gloria Jeans, or whatever else, with their funky interiors, background music and warm, easy going atmospheres, I have to say, are all-round wanky places. Nothing of any use has ever been said, discussed or debated in a coffee house, ever. I’m pretty sure of that. People seem to think that they’re going to a sophisticated, snug little refuge where they’ve piece of mind to chill out, pass time, read a book, have a chat or enjoy the coffee. But they are such a haven of mediocrity that people just go there and feel comfortable stating the obvious and being as mindless and stupid as they want. Stupid people, stupid conversations.

And I might as well have a rant about the coffee while I’m at it. Why is it served in plastic cups when you’re having it in the shop? Why is a large cappuccino like a milk shake with an espresso in it? Why is a small cappuccino bigger than what a normal sized cappuccino should be? Why do they have to have a ‘system’ of taking your name? And now that I think of it, why didn’t I get any chocolate flakes on my cappuccinos? Unfortunately I’ve never bothered with all that latte or frappaccino bollox so I can’t really go into any of that. I’m just a simple cappuccino man.