Philious Phogg on the positives and negatives of his new job

Sad Face, Happy Face - The Contrasting Moods of Philious Phogg

Congratulations on the new job Phogg, you must be quite happy.

Yay!

But it’s in processing mortgage applications, pretty mundane stuff.

Boo!

Then again it’s pretty respectable and reliable work and you won’t be returning to Ireland with its economic strife and employment drought.

Yay!

But you miss that place don’t you.

Boo!

Then again you can now afford to go out more than once a week. Plus you’re getting an hourly rate and overtime so when the long hours come along you’ll see the cash rolling in.

Yay!

But this stuff is way off what you want to get into.

Boo!

Then again these are hard times and beggars can’t be choosers.

Ya…no wait…Boo!

Although it’s large organisation with a household name, something that’ll look good on the CV right?

Yay!

But you’ll be stuck at a desk all day studying data on screens. And under time pressure too. All of you’re concentration will be used up by this same process, day after day, so that your brain will be sapped of creativity and wit, even come the weekend. You know how it feels Phogg, you’ve had all of this before. Only before, there was an ocean of diversity to your work compared to this stuff. You’ll be the proverbial number in the organisation, with your responsibilities according to company policy. You’ll be restricted to act only in accordance with procedure, with no room for judgement, opinion or criticism. For god’s sake you’ll barely even be communicating with people.

Boo!

Then again whatever way you look at it, it’s a professional job and there’s a bit of respectability in that. I mean you’ll be wearing a suit, acting in a somewhat professional manner and at least have some status to your name.

Yay!

But there’ll be no more craic on the bike. No more freedom to act as you wish. No more being all over the city in a day. No more bumping into people at any time. No more enjoying all the influence of the streets and the people. Your fitness will waste away. Your clear head and freshness will suffer. The creative side of your brain may go dormant.

Boo!

But now you won’t be working for bastards who enjoy such a dominant position in the industry that they can afford to abuse their power over their contractors. And besides, one can’t be a bike courier for ever.

Yay!

But such is the nature of the commercial rat race, you won’t exactly be getting pampered here.

Boo!

Well look, at least you don’t have to deal with those poxy recruitment agents for the time being.

YAY! (Rapturous applause)