Friday, July 31, 2009

Mother - Heaps of Energy



Some time ago, I got a free can of Mother, a 500ml energy drink produced & distributed by none other than Coca-Cola Amatil itself. Since I’ve had it I’ve had no desire whatsoever to drink it, but I decided to a little research on the nutritional information and, low and behold, it turns out that it contains just 10% more energy than the orange juice in my fridge. Of course, it also contains hefty doses of caffeine and sugar to set the heart racing but I’m no dietician and I’ve no idea how to technically measure that.

So the attraction is that it’s fizzy and tasty in a tangy, energetic kind of way, so you can down it (the whole 500ml can) with relish, unlike half a litre of orange juice which, thinking about it, would probably be a tough enough ordeal and leave your face grimacing and your stomach squirming. Then the drink sets your heart rate spiralling upward and your brain starts whizzing.

Now, as an occasional Buckfast drinker, I can appreciate the adrenaline buzz, but this product is prominent in every supermarket and store in Sydney, up there with your regular Coke, Sprite etc. making it a popular drink with the general consumer. So given that there are health concerns about a 250ml can of Red Bull, how can people in their right minds want to double the dose with this stuff for the sake of an energy pick up? I mean, the way I see it, if a cup of coffee can’t pick you up, it’s not because you’re heart rate is too low. If you’re that short on energy, you need sleep. As an occasional quick-fix it may be worth the health consequences, but to rely on it to keep you alert or energetic is madness.

Ok, ok, I know, the people who drink it don’t give a shit about the health concerns. But take a look at he product labelling. The death metal style font hints of violence. The black and red colour give me the idea of drinking petrol. Across the top is the slogan “Warning Heaps of Energy”. The whole thing says to me, drink this if you want to slaughter pigs with a hatchet.

And the following two warnings are printed on the can:

“If you need a MOTHER of an energy hit, you need MOTHER. It delivers double the hit**, in a big black can.
So now when a mate turns up with a wussy-sized can, you can raise your MOTHER up and proudly say ‘did yours come with a man bag’.
**Compared to a standard 250ml energy drink.”


“Warning! High caffeine content… Ok, we know that’s why you’re drinking it but our lame legal guys made us warn you not to feed this to kids, up the duff women or the weak who just can’t tolerate it.”

Intensity, extremity, excess. Drink more, take more, have more. Be faster, stronger, louder. Have you got the balls? Yes you do. You do. Yes. Don’t you? Yes you do...mate!

How far can it go?

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